If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Over the course of every gamer’s life span, he/she will indubitably find him/herself whelmed in the sea of video game puns. Much like dad jokes, video game puns are capable of inducing near seizure-esque shudders at almost every junction. Sure, my father occasionally finds the needle in the metaphorical joke haystack – as do games find the occasional humorous pun – but that is hardly enough to excuse the more grievous of trespasses. Still, it can be an enjoyable endeavor to explore some of the best and/or worst puns in the history of games. Today, I’ll share a few that I found to be rather… punny.

Animal Crossing series

koi pun

The first and multiple offender on this list is the popular Animal Crossing series. Clearly designed for a younger audience (though popular among a niche set of gamers), Animal Crossing offers some of the best worst puns in the industry to date. For example, when fishing, your jackass of a character has a snarky pun for EACH SEA CREATURE HE REELS OUT OF THE POND. Take a gander at some of these screenshots I found on Google. I think I already hear your collective groan.

Bass pun

Resident Evil

There’s nothing worse than bad voice acting in a game. Oh, I lied. Bad voice acting with even worse puns may be the vilest part of the gaming industry. I can’t think of a more egregious offender than Barry Burton from the original Resident Evil. Consistently throughout the game does Barry offer fecal matter in the form of paltry puns. Heck, the only thing I remember clearly about my first experience with Resident Evil is: “You were almost made into a Jill sandwich. Ha-ha-ha!” His partner was nearly crushed by enclosing walls, and he jokes about it? Jill should’ve taken that newly discovered shotgun and shown him how Dick Cheney hunts.

The Last of Us

Naughty Dog has proven time and again that they understand what makes a successful and enjoyable game. They put their mastery of the medium on display when they released the excellent The Last of Us at the end of the PS3 cycle (and again on the PS4). The gritty and cold narrative, Joel and Ellie’s relationship, and the fear of humans more than clickers add up to create an unnerving experience. So what was perfectly inserted throughout various points of the game?  Puns. When Joel and Ellie found some down time on their journey, Ellie enjoyed busting out her favorite book of puns. And I’ll say that I actually chuckled at some of them. I suppose Naughty Dog is even adept at the ol’ pun game.

Outlast

“What?” You say, grunting in bewilderment. “How does a ferocious game like Outlast have time to curse its players with puns?” I have an answer to that, actually. If you happened to read the opening files as you drive up to Mount Massive Asylum – or if you look at your reporter badge – you’ll find that your character is the aptly named Miles Upshur. For those of you who don’t understand, Miles Upshur is a play on the phrase: miles up shore without a paddle, which has been more commonly known as: up shit creek without a paddle. While the pun here is pretty awful, Miles certainly lives up to his name.

Miles_Upsher_Press_Badge

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