Top Of The Morning To Ya
It’s St. Patrick’s Day! It’s the day where everybody has an excuse to get drunk and pretend to be a fraction Irish, conveniently forgetting that it’s supposed to be a religious holiday. But hey, Irish-Catholics love to drink! So, no guilt! These are the best St. Paddy’s Day themed alcoholic drink and gaming pairs.
1. Irish Carbombs and Grand Theft Auto
Irish Car Bombs are simultaneously God’s greatest and worst gift to St. Paddy’s Day drinkers. The combination of Irish Whiskey, Baileys, and Guinness goes down smoothly with fantastic flavor. You immediately want to have another…and another…and another. The next thing you see are the sprinklers on your elderly neighbor’s lawn waking you up at 3 in the morning. Your head’s throbbing, your mouth’s dry, and you have absolutely no memory of the last 12-24 hours. Irish Car Bombs lure you in with excellent flavor and a warm feeling in your gullet, but before you know it, your night’s ruined.
The Grand Theft Auto series does the same thing. It lures you in with the promise of total freedom, tons of mini-games, vehicles to pilot, and explosions to create. After the first few hours, you’re totally immersed in the world and have embraced the criminal lifestyle. Next thing you know, you’ve logged in over fifty hours of gameplay and you’ve learned the streets of Los Santos or Vice City by heart. Your grades have dropped and your girlfriend’s walked out. So, combine these two gifts and curses tonight. Plus, it’s awesome to down a carbomb then throw a virtual one at unsuspecting civilians.
Jameson Whisky and Bloodborne
FromSoftware’s Bloodborne is a difficult game to get in to. It’s punishing, but ultimately rewarding. It can be infuriating, but with some amazing cathartic moments. It pairs perfectly with straight Jameson whiskey. That first drink burns and you wonder whether this was really a good idea. Just like in the first seconds of Bloodborne when you’re insta-killed by a gigantic wolf. But you press on and slowly both the game and the drink warm up to you. You became enraptured by the beautiful gothic architecture of Yharnam and the burn of the whiskey is overwhelmed by its warmth and smoothness. Before you know it, Bloodborne and Jameson will be your two favorite things.
Witcher 3, Guinness, and Bushmills
One of the qualities that made Witcher 3 the best game of 2015 was its war torn setting. You have the once beautiful land ruined from past conflicts and the ongoing war between the Nilfgardians and the Northern Realms. This is parallel to the beautiful Emerald Isle that was torn apart by the IRA and the English during The Troubles. There’s also the fun fact that Geralt can heal by drinking beer and only replenishes his potions by drinking hard alcohol. This entry’s more specifically a drinking game than a pairing. Drink beer every time you drink a potion and do a shot every time you have to consume hard alcohol to replenish your potions. It’ll add a whole new layer of strategy to your combat, since you’ll have to decide whether it’s worth it to use your last healing potion to save your character, but at the expense of your real-life liver.
Irish Coffee and Guitar Hero
This is a pairing that works best in a group–and can really mess up your system. The mixture of the caffeine high with the alcohol low throws your system completely off balance. Combining this with the frenetic button mashing of Guitar Hero and the cheers or competitive jeers of your friends, and you have one memorable evening.
Irish Beer and Fighting Games
Fighting is in the blood of all Irishmen, and fortunately there’s many fighting games out there for you to channel that anger. That way you can virtually kick ass, instead of having it handed to you in reality. Mortal Kombat, and Street Fighter are just a couple of examples. Any fighting games work with Irish beer, but I recommend UFC. Nobody embodies the loud-mouthed, fast-talking, Irish brawler than Conor McGregor. If you don’t believe me check out his amazing trash talking skills. Knocking out fighters in UFC as Conor McGregor makes you feel so Irish and badass, if only for one day.
Tullamore Dew and Max Payne 3
Fighting isn’t the only quality inherent within the Irishman. An Irishman also has the ability to reach the deepest depths of depression. And no video character comes near the level of sorrow that Max Payne reaches. Max Payne spends every cutscene in the first half of Max Payne 3 drinking until he can’t even remember his own name. Like a true Irishman, don’t let yourself be up. Try and keep up with Max as you accompany him on his nihilistic journey of death and sorrow. I guarantee you that it’s a challenge. Besides, it gives you something to do during the ridiculously long and unskippable cutscenes.
These are my drinking and gaming recommendations for tonight’s annual purge of your liquor cabinet. If you have any of your own suggestions, feel free to list them in the comments. Happy drinking!