By this point it’s fairly safe to assume that everyone and their aunt has at least a basic knowledge of the whole CS:GO Lotto debacle.

Still, if you’ve been living under a rock… Well, actually, my advice would be get the hell back under that rock. Things aren’t going well up here. People seem to like that new game from the Limbo people but, really, it isn’t worth it.

Oh, fine. CS:GO Lotto, and other sites of its ilk, allow people to bet weapon skins acquired from Counter Strike: Global Offensive either on the outcome of e-sports matches or against one another in games of pure chance. Some legal discrepancies mean that, technically, this isn’t considered gambling, and those aged thirteen and above are able to participate. In order to reflect this, I will now put every subsequent use of gambling in italics.CS:GO MarketplaceThis form of gambling has become somewhat of a niche sensation, with many YouTube channels jumping on the craze with aplomb. TmarTn and Prosyndicate are two such YouTubers, risking terrifying sums of money on CS:GO Lotto in roughly twenty minute segments. The two chaps scream, jump up and down, run around the room; I can only assume the viewer is supposed to be spellbound by these reckless acts of profligacy from the super-rich pair.

It was recently discovered by YouTuber ‘HonorTheCall’ that, to reveal the incredible plot twist that none of you saw coming, TmarTn and ProSyndicate actually own CS:GO Lotto.

There’s been untold drama, and, for once, it’s justified. Many take considerable issue with gambling on your own site; many are angry about the lack of proper disclosure; many are absolutely livid that anyone could be willing to game a system which encourages underage gambling.

It’s very easy to pick on a pair of headset-adorning, mobile-vlogging, inanity-spouting berks for the bright-eyed wonder with which they encourage risking vast quantities of money. It’s important to remember, however, that this wouldn’t have been done on a whim. For every young star with buckets of cash, there will be a throng of sycophants in suits willing to agree with anything to get in their good graces.ProSyndicate CSGO Lotto“Hey guys,” TmarTn or ProSyndicate would say, “should I make some totally awesome betting videos? Maybe I can do that thing where I scream really loudly so people know how passionate I am about content creation!”

“Haha! Yes, I think that would be…” The forty year old financial consultant flicks through his specially made dictionary of suitable lingo, running one hand through his peroxided hair, “totally awesome-sauce, Sir!”

Then, a few weeks later.

“Hey guys,” TmarTn or ProSyndicate would exclaim, having just scurried through the newly-installed YouTuber flap on the side of the house for when they don’t feel like using the back door, “should I become an owner of a betting site, and then bet on it, encouraging viewers to do the same?”

“Haha! Yes, I think that would be…” a pause as the P.A whispers something in the consultant’s ear, “complete YOLO bants.”

TmarTn or ProSyndicate ponder for a moment. “The YOLOest?”

The consultants look gravely at one another, then turn back to TmarTn or ProSyndicate and nod dismally.

“Alright! Laters losers!”

And with that, TmarTn or ProSyndicate run off to have a nap.

The response from the two has been, from a purely quantitative standpoint, one-sided. While ProSyndicate has remained fairly quiet, TmarTn seems to be on some kind of great damage control quest, which, at this point, is like single-handedly trying to bring down the Great Wall of China with a plastic spoon.

He deleted the original videos. He released a flurry of tweets, many of which were also deleted. Then came, ostensibly, an apology video. It begins by him telling his dog, Cooper, that he has no idea how he’s going to record the video. It seemed an odd aside until towards the end of the video; by then it became apparent that Cooper had written the script and was giving TmarTn advice on how to apologise like a human would.TmarTn CSGO Lotto ApologyLeaving aside any snide remarks about the fact that he chose to film himself in his capacious mansion’s lobby, or indeed the fact that he framed his ostentatious vehicle perfectly in shot, the actual content of the monologue lacked not only contrition, but also any real acknowledgement of wrong-doing.

He talked about chasing his dreams, following his passions. He listed the ways he wasn’t in the wrong, largely ignoring the major criticisms. He thanked people for their continued viewership, and then he fucked off.

This wasn’t an ‘I’m sorry’ video; this was an ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’ video.

Predictably, this little display of detached indignation went the same way as a litany of tweets and all of his CSGO Lotto videos: it was deleted. Seriously, has TmarTn graduated from the Martin Shkreli School for Public Relations? Quite aside from the abominable implications of his actions, the way he’s subsequently handled the fallout has been not only inept, but insulting.

Amidst all of this, ProSyndicate has managed to remain in relative obscurity – not, it seems, through any wiles of his own, but more like someone who knows not to coax the wild coyotes while their friend runs in the opposite direction, screaming, nude, with a slab of steak affixed to each buttock.

He has displayed some mild sorrow at events, including one tweet which said simply “transparency from here on out”, sounding more like the half-hearted assertion of a shoddy window-maker than an admission of guilt.

I’ll end with just one piece of advice for anyone embroiled in these controversies: ‘Taking candy from a baby’ is a figure of speech, not a fucking business model.